Haven’t wrote on here for awhile like almost been a year I think but here I am. ahahaha but yea a lot has happened this week and I guess it got me to just think a lot.
1. I talked to my pastor about a bunch of things today and I think I really realize that I am very quick to judge, quick to get annoyed, and very prideful. Although my pastor didn’t directly say any of this reflecting on the questions that he asked and the points he made about what I was struggling with I think I can say this about myself. I mean it is something i’ve known for years but man to think I still struggle with this so sad. I need to really be humbled by what I am, a wretched sinner who had to put a nail in our Lord Jesus Christs’ arms and feet and had to be washed by his blood yet I’m so easy to think of myself as such a great person who does all these good things. Dang humility I think it’s such a hard thing to carry yet we are called to be humbled. I know nothing is impossible with God but this seems like such a struggle that sometimes its rather discouraging how hard it is. As I feel this way the only thing that brings me joy though is the fact that regardless of this, God still loves me and He did die and rise again from death for me. It’s such a powerful action and it humbles me for that brief moment that I am reminded of the cross but I guess it shouldn’t just be that brief moment, I should live my life with this in mind. It is SOOOO HARD GAHHHH.
2. I am a racist. Yea there I said it. Does this mean i’ll treat people like crap cause they are not Korean? NO but what I AM saying is I do treat people differently cause they aren’t Korean. I realize i’m so awkward when people aren’t Korean or of Asian decent and I know that this is a problem but i dont really know how to fix it cause I WANT to really have like non korean friends and what not but its so hard. BUT i do realize it’s something i need to work on but I just dont really know how to go about it I guess… One thing my pastor challenged me with was sit with someone random in class and like build a relationship with them while studying with them and what not.
3.
Lastly one thing Ive been really struggling with is just being in constant prayer and just conversing with God. I feel like i came pretty far from my prayer walk and its something i just do for the sake of doing it instead of finding joy in spending time with the God who loves me the most.
Now why do i post this? because i do realize probably no one is up and what not but if you do end up reading this. PLEASE just be in prayer for me and keep me accountable. Knowing me I am going to say yea yea whatever and i might even get annoyed that you are trying to help me because i AM prideful and i hate being helped but please just keep me accountable in these aspects.
The more i try to describe how magnificent God is, I am at a lost for words… all i can mutter is I love Him :)
foreverla: The End of an Era: 5 championships in LA, 11 in total. A great coaching career to say the least. Sorry you couldn’t leave with one last chip Phil Jackson. The fans and the whole city of Los Angeles was blessed to have you.
foreverla: “It’s going to take a lot to stop me from playing.” -Kobe Bryant
Future Garage…
Ferrari 458 Italia…. such a beauty of a car… if i could i would drive you right now in a heartbeat…
Maserati as much problems this car is notorious for, i would still want to drive this car from the bottom of my heart…
What up beautiful, got the butterfly doors :) so purty so purty
Very futuristic look, and quite different but regardless very beautiful
Audi R8 nuff said
ascari kz1 :D
gotta have a family car 8) escalade
I realize i’ll probably not have any of these cars but a guy can dream right? lol its nice to think of it i think…. :) but realistically hopefully even if i make enough money to buy all these cars, i wouldn’t use my money stupidly like this puahhahaha
Wonderful Cross
When I survey the wondrous cross On which the Prince of Glory died My richest gain I count but loss And pour contempt on all my pride
See from his head, his hands, his feet Sorrow and love flow mingled down Did ever such love and sorrow meet Or thorns compose so rich a crown
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name
Were the whole realm of nature mine That were an offering far too small Love so amazing, so divine Demands my soul, my life, my all
i can’t help but marvel at the cross… it’s so humbling that my king my savior had to die for me even though i deserve to be burned in hell for all eternity, he loved me so much that he died on the cross for me. Yet i go on living my life spitting on the cross while i profess with my mouth i love you lord i will give my life to you. Isn’t it amazing? God knew that we would be doing this to. He knew exactly what Christ will have to go through even by the hands of those who accept him as savior. The chains of sin are broken through Christ and Christ alone, but how many times do we live like this in our lives? I for one have to say that this is not very true for me. I struggle so much to keep the life that Christ had lived on this Earth yet I fail over and over again and Christ stands there to pick me up even though my falling was like another nail piercing him on that very cross on which he died for us…. It pains me to say that as much as I would like to say that i live a life that reflects what God wants from me, I live a life far from it.
Lord i just ask that you hear my prayer for my desire for you. Fan the flames of my heart and allow me to grow in passion for you and refine my heart so that it made be pure gold and nothing short of what you have planned for me. Love me, mold me, and never let me go.
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